28 Sep

The Everlasting GOP Stoppers

The guy sitting across from me is wearing a toupee.  It’s an unnatural black and hovers just above his scalp, floating there, defying gravity, kind of like the puck on an air hockey table.  As a proud bald man myself, I feel more pity than disdain.  Take what you’ve been given and run with it is how I see things.  If your follicles betray you, shave what little hair that sprouts from your head and then buff that mother to a high gloss and hold it up high.  Be proud of your sheen.  You sure as hell don’t walk around with road kill on your head.  His mouth is rictus-like, his eyes beady.  He drinks light beer by the pitcher and between that and the wig, I do not like him.  Now I don’t normally go to a sports bar to judge hairstyles and make friends; neither do I go…

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